What If She Had Met Me First?
At first I thought it was simply lust. I mean, who wouldn't want such a beautiful creature as their lover? Long, thick hair the color of dark chocolate, eyes of blue flame, and a smile that'll melt your insides. Tall, lithe, muscular body, but the curves are still in the right places. And power, can't forget about the aura of power she simply exudes. She walks into a room and heads turn. I don't think she's even aware of it. Certainly not aware of the affect she has on me.
But I'm getting ahead of myself. Like I said, I thought it was infatuation, a passing desire, a brief moment of longing for something I couldn't have. We were practically strangers, after all. And then she saved my life, gave of herself to heal me, to shelter me, to believe in me so that I could believe in myself again.
Our friendship began at that moment. It was not without hurdles. We are two of a kind, she and I, stubborn, hardheaded, strong, both physically and emotionally. And she has a past that blows my childish misbehaviors away. She is not of our time, or our culture. She lives within our walls, our civilization, but her code of honor comes from a time long forgotten, when the tribe, the extended family was everything, war was a way of life, and justice was found at the end of a sword. I had a hard time accepting that philosophy, until she killed for me.
I'm a cop. I've spent most of my life protecting people from the evil that seeks to do them harm. I've shot people in the line of duty, when there was no other way out of a situation. It's part of my job, my life. It's not supposed to be a part of hers. But she is a warrior; I see that clearly now. And part of a warrior's duty is protecting their family, their loved ones from harm. It's easy enough to say you'd die for someone you love; much, much harder to say you'd kill. And she did. Five men to add to the list she says she's not keeping. But I know better. When her judgement day comes, she wants to make sure they have all the charges right against her. I hope that day never comes; I hope she is the One.
But I'm getting off the subject again. Somewhere along the line, I fell in love. How wonderful for you, you say. How terrible for me, I answer. When it comes to love, she is committed--to Blair Sandburg. To be fair, he saw her first. And unlucky me, he's finally found a woman fascinating enough to keep him interested for years, if not the rest of his life. And she, well, she will love him until the day he dies, and probably mourn him for a couple centuries after that. When she gives her heart, she gives it completely.
God, I envy him. But I don't begrudge them their love. After what they've been through in their lives, they deserve a little happiness. And I have my own special bond with her, one that Blair does not share, one that I wouldn't give up even if doing so meant that she would love me.
I'll be okay, I guess. After all, no one I know of has ever died of unrequited love. I have my work, and my friends, and a close relationship with the woman I adore. Still, I can't help but wonder, what if she had met me first?